I want to go back to sleep

Have you ever encountered a day where you simply struggled to get out of bed?  A moment where the comfort and warmth of your bed and blankets create a temporary haven of sublime perfection protecting you from the stress and struggles of the day to come.  Of course you have.  There are none of us who are not human.  Today was one of those days for me.  Today was the last day of the current cycle of 6 AM men’s Bible studies at church, and it was cold and rainy.  Fortunately for me, I had a morning appointment cancel, so the (rationalization) possibilty of attending, and then returning home to the “comfort of my covers” blazed in my mind like a shining, golden, hot and ready Krispy Creme donut. So, with the carrot dangling in front of me, I made it to the final men’s Bible study.  Naturally, the message and discussion was fabulous.  I am always energized spiritually and mentally by meeting with, clashing with, and coming alongside fellow Christians who are trudging, sprinting, and moving forwards with Christ.  Today we were discussing, via a video podcast message from Judah Smith, Matthew 20 and the parable of the workers and wages.  The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.  There is so much meat regarding the Kingdom of God in this passage that I challenge everyone to revist this parable and meditate on it.  The conflict of competition versus community, legalism versus freedom, the old covenant versus the new covenant, and flesh versus spirit are just a few of the themes Jesus unpacks in this parable for those who have “ears to hear,” or “eyes to see.”  As I was driving home feeling blessed, and contemplating crawling back under the covers, I had a challenging and unsettling thought.  Was I going to let this inspiring message challenge and change my personal and spiritual paradigm, or was I going to crawl back under the covers of my comfortable and sometimes complacent Christianity?  I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I have thoughts like that.  Is God trying to tell me that I really shouldn’t go back to bed?  Or, is my going back to bed, like an unanswered alter call, synonymous with missing out on a crucial step in my spiritual growth.  And it’s only 7:15 AM.  Just like most of you, my spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak.  It’s never as easy as simply accepting and incorporating the spiritual truth standing blatently in front of my face.  Application is agonizing.  Like swimming in sea of molases, progress is often pitiful and painful.  As I face the day, and the challenges it sets before me, I can only offer this word of advice: don’t go back to sleep.


4 responses to “I want to go back to sleep

  1. Comforting thoughts of the warmth and coziness of the bedcovers are a temptation to overcome, especially if I don’t need more sleep but need more motivation. So I ask myself, what are the positive things I have to look forward to today? What thoughts brings me joy, peace and purpose about this day? What can I get excited about ?
    My heart starts to beat again with renewed enthusiasm because I love life! I love purpose! I love being creative and resourceful! I love praying and making a difference in someone’s life. Wow! We are really blessed!

  2. You are a fantastic writer!

  3. Powerful message that everyone could learn something from. I too, like you, hate when I have those thoughts. Becoming complacent to me is a sign of burn out. In my own life, when I am burned out, I know it’s because I have not taken the time in God’s presence to allow him to renew me. I am reminded of Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
    I really like the way you articulate…I pray every day the I will “not go back to sleep”.

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